Archive for November, 2004

National Treasure

ooooo exciting! National Treasure is the latest offering from Jerry Bruckheimer Films. It’s a treasure hunt, a race to find the greatest buried treasure of all time. Yay! The bad news: Nicholas Cage; I don’t much care for him. Also, too much “Rah rah, American History is the only history!” I suppose I can’t complain […]

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After The Sunset I have learned three things from this movie: 1) Salma Hayek has great cleavage and has no qualms about showing it off. 2) I want to be Pierce Brosnan. 3) Salma Hayek can make overalls sexy. That’s it. There is nothing else to learn. From this movie, that is. Close your eyes, […]

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A Word About The Rating System In the beginning there were numbers, from 1 to 5, 5 being good, following the title of every movie being reviewed. It worked well for a while until I realized that there were nuances of a film rating that I wanted to convey that a simple number couldn’t do. […]

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Shall We Dance Life is full of interesting coincidences. The day I watched this movie there was copy of the Ottawa Sun in the projection booth, open to an article entitled “Bigger bottoms butting in: Mannequins take cue from curvy posteriors of J.Lo, Beyonce” with an appropriately matched picture of Jennifer Lopez. Hmmm… On with […]

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The Polar Express Sickeningly Christmassy. You know those Coca-Cola commercials that come out around Christmas that have a convoy of tractor-trailers all lit up with Christmas lights? That’s what this movie reminded me of. Tom Hanks plays the conductor of the Polar Express, a train whose only apparent purpose is to take (kidnap??) a handful […]

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The Incredibles If I had money, I’ll tell you what I’d do, I’d go downtown and buy a Mercury or two… sorry, got carried away there. But if I did have money, I’d buy a lot of stock in Pixar. They can’t seem to lose. Every movie they release is amazing, pushes computer animation to […]

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Jersey Girl Too much talking. All the major plot points are examined to death, talked about at length, and beat into the ground by overacting. There is absolutely no chance of the viewer missing any “lessons” or “character development.” That said, it was decent film. The movie is about a single father, Ollie (played by […]

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Team America: World Police What is there to say? This movie is offensive on so many levels that I don’t know where to start, so I’ll just jot down some random thoughts as they occur to me: Imagine the illegitimate child of the Thunderbirds and South Park. The movie poster warns of graphic sexual content… […]

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